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Climbing Humor & Quotes


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TOP 10 REASONS CLIMBING IS BETTER THAN SEX...
1. Choice of novice or expert routes.
2. A climb can last all day long.
3. Guide books tell you how many visitors were before you.
4.You can pick the length and diameter of your rope.
5. There is always someone backing you up in case you fall off.
6. You can leave your protection behide for the next guy.
7. Lots of tight cracks.
8. It's not concidered kinky to wear a harness.
9. The only rubber you wear is on your feet.
10. There are still rocks that have'nt been touched.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOUNTAIN CLIMBER IF....
1. You own a $75.00 dress suit and a $1000 Gore-Tex suit.
2. You have ever used an ice ax to chop weeds in your garden.
3. You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.
4 You like the smell of burning Yak dung.
5. What you call cold is not on the Thermometer scale.
6. You don't walk down stairs, you rappel.
7. You see a girl in the street and you think Hmmm, she's a TD+/5.11.
8. You've ever fallen so far that you've run out of adrenaline before
    you ran out of rope.
9. You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your body.

TOP 5 SIGNS YOU PICKED THE WRONG CLIMBING PARTNER..
1. Favorite peak: top of the jungle gym, Filmore Primary School.
2. He thinks "Carabiner" is someone who lives in Jamaica.
3. His idea of taking a breather means lighting up a cigarette.
4. When told to bring rapelling gear, he shows up with 25 cans
of " OFF" bug spray.
5. Baggy shorts and no underwear.
 
Quotes
 
The Forest Preserve is essentially a quiet and healthful
retreat from the turmoils and artficialities of a busy urban
life. - Hinman Decision -

For me, and for thousands with similar inclinations, the most
important passion of life is the overpowering desire to escape
periodically from the clutches of a mechanistic civilization.
To us the enjoyment of solitude, complete independence, and
the beauty of undefined panoramas is absolutely essential
to happiness. - Bob Marshall -


Of course we weren't lost. We were merely where we shouldn't
have been, without knowing where that was. - T. Morris Longstreth -


Getting to the summit is optional, getting down is mandatory.
- David Breashears-


I have not conquered Everest, it has merely tolerated me.
- Peter Habeler -

Well, we knocked the bastard off. - Sir Edmund Hillary-

Altitude is the great equalizer. - Unknown-


Mountains don't kill people, they just sit there. - Ed Viesters-

We will stomp to the summit with the wind in our teeth.
- George Mallory-

Because it is there. - George Mallory-


Don't forget, it's really just a big pile of rocks. - David Breashears-

Your head is totally worked, your arms twitch like they're gonna
fall off, your fingers are cracked, swollen and bleeding. I find it
all so peaceful. - Tommy Caldwell - Climber-

It's about function, not style. - Jon Martina-


Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to
be added, but when there is nothing more to be taken away.
- Unknown-


Strap on, shut up and hike. - Bill Bucher-


Take only pictures, Leave only footprints
and kill only time. - Unknown-

Would you like a chewy? - Tony Landalfo-

There is a good deal of tolerable land in this region, but a good
deal more that is intolerable. - Joal Handly, 1844. Speaking on
the Adirondacks-.


If you don't like the current weather in the Adirondacks, just wait
an hour it will change. - Local saying -


We have 3 seasons in the Adirondacks, Black fly season, July
and Winter. - Unknown-


Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to
be at your best.- David O. McKay-


The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of
your convictions -- William F. Scolavino-


Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is
not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved .
-William Jennings Bryan-


The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the
person doing it.-- Chinese proverb-


Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them
are dirt.- Unknown-